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Bev Foster • June 27, 2013

Remembering Michele

Michele's Room 217 Story

My first recollection of Michele Jones was watching her play the part of Marilla in Anne of Green Gables; produced and performed by the Scugog Choral Society in Port Perry, the town where we live. I wasn’t sure whether Michele had been typecast - was she by nature an austere, cranky lady or, was she a terrific actor? Over the next 16 years, I learned about the real Michele - she was a deeply caring woman, highly skilled at vision casting and implementation, passionate about the arts, especially music, a woman with strong values and ideals and an amazing actor with an uncanny sense of timing.

It was with a tremendous degree of shock and sadness when our community learned that Michele had terminal cancer and was given twelve weeks to live. At first, like in any tragic loss, shock, denial and anger reared their visceral faces. But it was Michele’s own sense of acceptance that led the way for her family and community at large to accept what was going on. In fact, she wanted the Beatles’ song Let It Be to be sung at her memorial service. Amidst tears, laughter and genuine struggle to sing those words authentically, we did it, all 300 of us.

Michele asked me to come to her home on several occasions during those short months to play music. We had a good time sharing the songs she had grown up with, danced to, and sung in musical theatre. In our afternoons together I learned how Michele’s dad, Cedric, an avid music lover, made sure there was lots of music in her childhood home. She sang me one of his "silly songs" - all sixteen verses. Close to You was what she sang to her girls, Sharon and Liz, when they were little. Many of the 60’s songs had associations with Michele and Gord in their early years together—and I heard about them. The ukulele was Michele’s instrument of choice and she played me some of her favourites and Grandma’s special song for Charlotte, her granddaughter. Then there were musical theatre songs - she knew them all. Behind every song there was a vivid story from Michele.

In those sacred moments with Michele, there were several things that I will always remember. One day, Michele was lying under a blanket on the couch and I was playing gently and softly on her treasured heirloom piano. I played "Room 217 style". The slower pace helped her relax and it wasn’t long before she dozed off. Some forty minutes later I began to play My Funny Valentine. The tune enlivened her - she sat up straight, began to sing, and by the fourth phrase was standing and singing at the top of her lungs. All at once, I was filled with a horrid contradiction: I was sure singing couldn’t be good for her because her lungs were filled with fluid and she was expending a lot of energy. Yet I was equally sure that it was the best thing for her because she was wrapped deeply in an experience that transcended the disease and let her keep living in the music she loved.

Another day, I learned there were even more distinct ways that musical memories nourished Michele. Michele had been a dancer and taught ballet: whenever she listened to the Room 217 Classic Comfort album, an hour of classical piano music, it made her "dance". Of course this was now a dance performed in her memories and imagination, but she lit up when she spoke of it. I believe the music stirred in her a sense of dignity and optimism when some of the procedures and episodes of her illness mitigated against it.

Music chronicled Michele’s life. Michele invited me to do the music at her memorial service. She planned the songs with care. It’s true that I had never played Five Foot Two and There’s a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea at a celebration of life service before, but the opening twenty minutes of music were a snapshot of a woman who loved and lived a lifetime of music and this was not about to end.

By Shelley Neal March 8, 2024
I initially trained with MUSIC CARE to work with Seniors in Long Term Care who were experiencing dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease. This is the path I travelled with my mom. My training with Music Care and Room 217 supported capacity building in selecting music that was played on my harp or chosen recorded music. The music centered on the care of the individual and their specific needs. My job was to determine the individual’s specific and select music to address these needs. The music selected helped to build community, support sleep, talk about life experiences, create a background landscape of sound, support connection to decrease isolation and loneliness, as well as coming alongside people dying. My training with Music Care helped me understand how to support people “where they were” physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Through using beat, tempo, melody, and timbre, I could cater the music and desired support required for individuals or small groups. My profession is teaching. I am a special education teacher and use music in my primary teaching as a method for learning, practicing language skills, transmitting information about science studies or math equations, as well as having fun and creating our own songs. My teacher toolkit married exceptionally well with the knowledge and skills provided by the Music Care Certification training. Recently, my work with students has involved individual programming for the medically fragile children and the palliative children. I use music (repeating the chorus several times) to engage and connect with the kiddos. We use music to "talk" about feelings (our communication is through eye gaze, eye blinks, and squeezing hands), and content material. I use music to enjoy our relationship of being together. At times, due to medication for seizures, my little ones can be very sleepy. I increase the tempo, engaging in tapping the beat on her hands and using silly action songs. The giggles and wiggles make it magical. I also use music to tell stories (my students have CVI, cortical vision impairment, so visual perception is difficult). This helps the child to engage in the story arch and adventures. Music is my conduit for reaching out and being with the students. Recently, I had the sacred journey of visiting one of my children in ICU at Sick Kids. I was invited to come to say "goodbye". A dear friend who was an ICU nurse in a different department told me (AKA, insisted) that I bring my harp with me. I wasn't sure if this would be appropriate for the family. However, with the permission of the mom, I bravely packed my harp up and took it to the Unit. It was a beautiful evening of talking with their mom and dad about how special their child was in my life. I played the kiddo's favorite songs and then ended with "The More We Get Together". The little one opened their eyes and stared at me. We hugged, and I left. They passed the next morning. I consider this time to be a sacred gift. Music Care Certification has given me the confidence and toolset to work alongside people and to journey together. It is a time a beautiful, difficult, or sacred time that I have been honoured to participate in.  Thank You
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