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Bev Foster • September 20, 2022

Silence in the Soundscape of Mourning

Yesterday, I joined with millions around the world, and watched the final good-bye to Queen Elizabeth II. I was deeply moved by the simplicity of the services at Westminster Abbey and St. George’s Chapel.

Sure, there was the pageantry I expected from the Brits and the Anglican tradition. What I didn’t expect, and what continues to resound in me, is the silence that defined much of the mourning soundscape.

Crowds in the streets were reverently silent. The church goers entered and held themselves in a quiet reverence. There was the 2 minutes of silence that was planned. And then there was the piper, the queen’s private piper, whose drones and melodic strains of the lament, Sleep, Dearie Sleep, faded into silence.

While the music of the hymns, the solemn beats of the marches, the last post and the rich timbres of the pipe organs connected us in our grief, for me, it was the silence that was most poignant.

Sometimes silence can be uncomfortable. It didn’t feel like that for me. The silence was a musical pause in the pageantry and commemoration for reflection and collective mindfulness, a pause from content.

This pause of silence allowed me to look around and take in with wonder and gratitude, all that was unfolding in the Anglican ritual, the intentional planning, the message and spirit of a remarkable life – it gave me time to breathe and remember.

Rituals of mourning are often intentional and hold their liturgies and traditions. For example,  cremation and sprinkling ashes, shiva, 40th day celebration, special meals, prayers, wailing, celebrations of life and keening – all have their religious and cultural histories and hold personal meaning for the mourners.

Music plays a significant role in many of these mourning rituals. It appears so does silence. May we not be afraid and embrace the good things that come from silence in the soundscape of mourning.

By Shelley Neal March 8, 2024
I initially trained with MUSIC CARE to work with Seniors in Long Term Care who were experiencing dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease. This is the path I travelled with my mom. My training with Music Care and Room 217 supported capacity building in selecting music that was played on my harp or chosen recorded music. The music centered on the care of the individual and their specific needs. My job was to determine the individual’s specific and select music to address these needs. The music selected helped to build community, support sleep, talk about life experiences, create a background landscape of sound, support connection to decrease isolation and loneliness, as well as coming alongside people dying. My training with Music Care helped me understand how to support people “where they were” physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Through using beat, tempo, melody, and timbre, I could cater the music and desired support required for individuals or small groups. My profession is teaching. I am a special education teacher and use music in my primary teaching as a method for learning, practicing language skills, transmitting information about science studies or math equations, as well as having fun and creating our own songs. My teacher toolkit married exceptionally well with the knowledge and skills provided by the Music Care Certification training. Recently, my work with students has involved individual programming for the medically fragile children and the palliative children. I use music (repeating the chorus several times) to engage and connect with the kiddos. We use music to "talk" about feelings (our communication is through eye gaze, eye blinks, and squeezing hands), and content material. I use music to enjoy our relationship of being together. At times, due to medication for seizures, my little ones can be very sleepy. I increase the tempo, engaging in tapping the beat on her hands and using silly action songs. The giggles and wiggles make it magical. I also use music to tell stories (my students have CVI, cortical vision impairment, so visual perception is difficult). This helps the child to engage in the story arch and adventures. Music is my conduit for reaching out and being with the students. Recently, I had the sacred journey of visiting one of my children in ICU at Sick Kids. I was invited to come to say "goodbye". A dear friend who was an ICU nurse in a different department told me (AKA, insisted) that I bring my harp with me. I wasn't sure if this would be appropriate for the family. However, with the permission of the mom, I bravely packed my harp up and took it to the Unit. It was a beautiful evening of talking with their mom and dad about how special their child was in my life. I played the kiddo's favorite songs and then ended with "The More We Get Together". The little one opened their eyes and stared at me. We hugged, and I left. They passed the next morning. I consider this time to be a sacred gift. Music Care Certification has given me the confidence and toolset to work alongside people and to journey together. It is a time a beautiful, difficult, or sacred time that I have been honoured to participate in.  Thank You
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